Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Consequences Pyramid Revised

You know how when you use something for awhile, you kind of get the kinks worked out? My sis and I decided to revise our consequences charts and I thought I'd share it with you all. We decided to take snacks off as a "code" and reserve "breaks" for when our children are emotionally unable to talk to us respectfully.

Here is how my Consequences Pyramid looks now (starting at the bottom and working up):

Code Blue: No movie 
Code Green: No computer, MP3 player or any other electronics.
Code Yellow: 1 hour rest time
Code Orange: 7pm bed time
Code Red: Immediately to bed (comes out only for meals, not allowed to play in room, has to be laying in bed).

The important thing is to keep the chart simple, so everyone knows what is coming next. It should start with the least severe punishment to the most extreme (this totally depends on what "speaks" to your child). My sis and I decided to remove "no snacks" as a punishment because with growing kids, that isn't a good thing. Now what they have as a snack is totally up to the parent(s). 

It seems like my son usually hits "Code Red" once a month, the next day he is a different child. But isn't this seriously just like us adults who struggle with our attitudes, too? I usually have a "freak" day once a month, it usually bites me, I get an attitude adjustment, and I do better for awhile. I have to expect the same thing is probably going to happen with my children and not be "surprised" when it does.

Since I've been using this system, I lose it much less. I used to get very angry at my children and often. I'm not saying I don't ever lose it, but I'm doing a lot better. Josiah is much less angry, too. He used to cry, scream and throw fits when I would discipline him. That rarely happens now. If it does, he gets a break. He excepts the consequences for his behavior so much better than he used to. This system is getting to his heart (and mine).  

Have a great Weekend!

God Bless,


Catherine Anne said...

Great idea

Andrea said...

urgent prayer request on arise 2 write.

RaD said...

I borrowed this concept from you and it's working well on this end too. Except last night I realized I may need to adjust mine because not matter what I did Elisha would not stop talking rudely and harrassing his sister. It's rather frustrating.

Thanks again for the great idea!

Anonymous said...

When you set these rules, stick by them. One wee little slip or laxing on the rules.. and poof, you can kiss this idea good bye.

Plan for support which there are many out here for you. A union stands strong.

with love,

Mich said...

neat idea

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

It's working, Jack, it's working! I'm so glad God gave this to us. It has changed my life and my parenting.

Connie said...

So glad you have found something which works! I, too, like the idea of food not being involved - mostly because I still tend to use food as a reward - not good.

christy rose said...

This is such a great idea! Sounds like this was some wisdom from God for you and your kids. Anytime that we can discipline without getting angry it is so much more effective and our kids still feel loved and cared for within the discipline.

Sarah said...

Im so thrilled that you have found a system which is working for you all. Your children are blessed to have a Mama who cares so much for them. Its great when a system works well...although to be effective they all require work and consistency! The last system we implmented was the 'Chorepack' system, which still works well although our daughter has a hard time remembering where she put her pack - we will have to add a card at the very back which says: Clip your chorepack to your board! Lol!

Crys said...

I love this idea! I think I'm going to have to use it.

Lori said...

Congratulations on finding something that works, your 'pyramid scheme'. We use something similiar. Ours is called 3 strikes and your out with similiar punishments.

Jenn @ A Country Girl's Ramblings said...

Great pyramid of consequences and great disciplining tool.

Nezzy said...

I love it! I used many, many innovative ideas raisin' my two youngens'. This is a winner!

God bless and enjoy your Saturday!!!

jlgoinggreen said...

This is AWESOME!!! I'm going to have to try this with my 5 yr old. Thanks for sharing this.


He & Me + 3 said...

I need to do something like this. My kids push me to the limits alot.

Leslie said...

Hmm, I just realized (while passing along this idea) that I never posted a reply to this. THANK YOU!!! I have been using our own consequence pyramid for the last 7-8 months now, and it's amazing! I have always been horrible about consistency with my children. One day they might get away with something because I don't know what to do about it, but the next day it drives me off the edge and I blow up. That's no longer how it works in this house. We have a clear set of consequences, and the kids and the parents now what to expect. The kids are now directly responsible for their own consequences (they even move their own magnets), because it's their attitudes and/or behavior that resulted in a consequence and not a stressed and frustrated parent who has been pushed too much.

Also, my hubby and I haven't often seen eye to eye on discipline, but we both worked together to come up with the consequences for our pyramid, and we're now working together in parenting, and not feeling resentment over how the other person disciplines.

So from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for sharing this!!!

Cheesemakin' Mamma said...

Thank you for commenting, Leslie! I'm so happy this is working for you and you're husband. It is fabulous, especially when you and your husband have two different parenting styles. We have the same problem in this house. This has helped tremendously. Keep up the good work. The Consequences Pyramid coupled with the book "Growing Kid's God's Way" have really been effective in our parenting.


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