You know how when you use something for awhile, you kind of get the kinks worked out? My sis and I decided to revise our consequences charts and I thought I'd share it with you all. We decided to take snacks off as a "code" and reserve "breaks" for when our children are emotionally unable to talk to us respectfully.
Here is how my Consequences Pyramid looks now (starting at the bottom and working up):
Code Blue: No movie
Code Green: No computer, MP3 player or any other electronics.
Code Yellow: 1 hour rest time
Code Orange: 7pm bed time
Code Red: Immediately to bed (comes out only for meals, not allowed to play in room, has to be laying in bed).
The important thing is to keep the chart simple, so everyone knows what is coming next. It should start with the least severe punishment to the most extreme (this totally depends on what "speaks" to your child). My sis and I decided to remove "no snacks" as a punishment because with growing kids, that isn't a good thing. Now what they have as a snack is totally up to the parent(s).
It seems like my son usually hits "Code Red" once a month, the next day he is a different child. But isn't this seriously just like us adults who struggle with our attitudes, too? I usually have a "freak" day once a month, it usually bites me, I get an attitude adjustment, and I do better for awhile. I have to expect the same thing is probably going to happen with my children and not be "surprised" when it does.
Since I've been using this system, I lose it much less. I used to get very angry at my children and often. I'm not saying I don't ever lose it, but I'm doing a lot better. Josiah is much less angry, too. He used to cry, scream and throw fits when I would discipline him. That rarely happens now. If it does, he gets a break. He excepts the consequences for his behavior so much better than he used to. This system is getting to his heart (and mine).
Have a great Weekend!